Going home…

I cannot stop thinking about two sisters who crossed my path more than 26 years ago.

When I was left in an alley, I found myself wandering around a part of the city I did not know.  I was weeping, it was raining, and I was completely disoriented and lost. I found a pay phone in front of an empty Sonic drive-in.  I started frantically making collect phone calls to no avail. I kept wandering in circles around that part of town and I even dared to pray, “God, I don’t know if you hear me or see me, but I need help.”

Then I sat on a curb and cried in the rain.

I tried to trace my steps back to that alley with great fear, just to see if I could figure out where I was.  I started to walk up the steps leading up to an old house somewhere nearby, but avoiding the actual alley.  Some lady chased me off with a broom.  I couldn’t understand anything she was saying, but I backed away while trying to plead with her through my tears.

I was hungry, I was thirsty, I was filthy, I was bleeding, and I was completely and totally lost.  I ended up back in front of that Sonic and frantically using the pay phone again.  I even screamed at the sky while the thunder boomed and the rain fell, “GOD!! I WANT TO GO HOME!!!!”

Two sisters, who were working at the empty Sonic, came out into the rain and pulled me inside the doors.  They had been watching me wandering around with great concern. Their manager made me something to eat and got me something to drink while the sisters helped clean me up.  I could barely talk.  I could barely thank them. I just stood inside the doorway, sobbing and devouring the food.

The manager let the girls off of work early since there were no customers that day.  They were going to get me home so that my mother could get me help.  But, I passed out in the back seat of that car and I didn’t wake up until I was in my mother’s driveway.  How those girls found my mother’s house, I do not know.  I have racked my mind trying to piece that one together, but I am left with this; it was a miracle.

When my mother came home and saw me passed out on the front porch, she believed she was approaching my dead body.  She even thanked God that at least my dead body made it home.  I do not really know what happened after all of that.  I remember being at the hospital, the police station, getting to take a bath, removing my missing posters from all over the city, and eating my mom’s goulash.  But, that time period is very fuzzy and I just can’t piece many things together.

All of these years, I have wondered about those two sisters.  I wonder if they remember me, I wonder if they think of me, and I wonder where they are in life.  I am always hoping they are blessed and thriving.

The craziest thing about this story is the house located at the spot where I was dumped in the alley.  That house was the house where my mother had her baby shower for me the month before I was born.  That house was also the house my husband had purchased and owned before we got married.  I am telling you, God’s fingerprints on my life continue to leave me speechless.  My husband stood in front of that now abandoned Sonic to pray with me as I showed him around that part of town and told him about that day I finally made it home.  My husband was the boy I fell in love with after I made it home alive all those years ago.  I was just too traumatized then to sustain it.  Both of our journeys brought us full circle in so many ways.

I don’t know if I will ever see those two sisters again.  Part of me longs to see their faces, but only God can make that happen.

Mark 5:19

And he did not permit him but said to him, “Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.”


This post appears in the book: Shattered in Him © 2016 JD Mays

30 thoughts on “Going home…”

    1. His fingerprints are the BEST!!! I think He does that for each of us so we know how to find Him in the ruins!!

      Deuteronomy 4:29
      But from there you will seek the Lord your God and you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I don’t have words.
    But I pray that no one goes through such trauma. It’s purely God’s hand that you came out. But there are lot of people who end up in suicide.
    Let your testimony be an encouraging for others.
    May be you can write elaborate how you came out of your trauma.
    Who knows, someone may read and be encouraged. It’s all about our testimonies…:)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have been praying about how to start writing about all of the steps I have taken on this journey and what finally started to set me free. Of course, the Lord did all of the hard work. But, unfortunately, in the face of great trauma the mind plays big, big games on you and it is something I feel nudged to start getting deep into through writing.

      I almost died when I tried to kill myself a few times and I wrote about it here: https://shatteredinhim.com/2016/10/11/come-out-of-the-tomb/ My worth was in the gutter and there was a time I truly believed that this world would be better off without someone like me. I absolutely believed my family would be freed from the burden of my existence. I absolutely believed that there was no place for me in this world or in anyone’s heart. Trauma is insidious and when you lack the proper support system, there is just no way to sustain it. Too many people have families that don’t surround them with love and compassion and that furthers the pain spiral. Families judge harshly in these situations. It is a very sad truth and a sad reality for so many. God has done some MAJOR work in me or I would not even be where I am right now. My hope is to help be a light to those who are stuck without hands to hold or compassionate care to nudge them toward the Light.

      Thank you so much for your encouraging words. Truly.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I can’t help but hope that one of those sisters will find herself reading this. God knows best, though. However, if there is anyone I would want to have coffee and talk with, it would be those two girls. And, I would want my mother to be there.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It makes my heart ache to think about how lonely you must habe been. And so very happy to know you made it. And then I am thinking of all the children refugees now, wandering across Europe, trying to find a home. I wonder what will become of them?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am praying for people all over the globe to make it home! My heart just can’t bear to think of what others are actually living through out there. This world is so ugly, but I am thankful we have a beautiful God!!


  3. I have been reading your posts for a while and this story of yours is truly the miracle of God’s grace and faithfulness. I believe those two sisters were God’s angels sent to rescue you that day. I encountered a similar incident once and I know how it feels to not understand what happened to this day as you ended up on your mother’s doorstep then. I’m thankful that you shared this as a testimony of His great grace. You have such courage and strength and you inspire a lot (including me) of people by your journey.

    Liked by 1 person

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