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One hot mess…

I have found that staying home with two children leads me into being a hot mess more often than not, so when I saw that April of Stories of Our Boys was doing a hot mess blog hop, I couldn’t help but think I may have found my people. I am all about keepin’ it real.

Many people seem to be under the impression that being a stay at home parent is not actually real work, that I get to be lazy more often than not, and that not much is required of me. I have to see the humor here, otherwise I might roll my eyes so far back into my head that I will not be able to move them back into place. And, I kind of need my eyeballs.

So…

While I may not answer to a boss or punch in with a time-clock, I certainly do not feel like a woman of leisure who gets to binge-watch Netflix and pig out whilst lounging around in my pajamas. If you came knocking on my door you would find a hot mess standing there to greet you and you might wonder what exactly it is I do with my time since my hygiene is obviously in need of attention. I am in scrub pants, a plain shirt, my hair pulled pack, and I am not sure if I brushed my teeth. Let’s just say that I am glad God isn’t concerned with outward appearance (although, one look at the hot mess that is me and He might rethink all of that).

I stopped answering to an alarm clock a few years ago when bringing home my first newborn baby ensured that I would be receiving wake-up calls at timely intervals for the foreseeable future. Now I have two little alarm clocks ensuring that I receive wake-up calls at varying intervals.

Usually I have a baby in my arms as I make a morning cup of coffee and prepare a bottle at the same time. So far, I have not accidentally put coffee in the bottle or formula in my mug, although I have come close. I have, however, opened the refrigerator many times to microwave my cup of coffee. Yes, I have placed my mug in the refrigerator and later wondered why the microwave never beeped and where did my mug go, anyway? Lately, though, one task my husband has been doing for me just before he walks out the door to go to work is to leave a prepared bottle sitting on the table. It is one of those sweet things he does to let me know I am on his mind and that he cares about how my day goes.

There was a time when I enjoyed intelligent and philosophical discussions and had goals that didn’t have anything to do with developmental milestones and potty training. Now my conversations consist of bodily functions, body parts, spelling, and pointing out shapes and colors. The red ball is round like a circle! The baby had a giant poop! Would you like to sit on the potty? Don’t stick that in your nose! Yes, he is a baby boy and has a different body part than you, do you remember what it’s called?

Trust me, adults don’t appreciate this kind of talk when you forget to whom you are speaking and have difficulty pulling your IQ back out of your purse.

I have a preschooler who loves to help me with household chores, which is actually pretty sweet and adorable. But, my freshly folded clothes end up in a pile the floor and the dirty clothes end up tossed on top of the clean ones all too often. While I am making the bed, my daughter is pulling off pillows and covers to hide under while she giggles and shouts, “I help mommy!” Sure, I may have just vacuumed 15 times, but her crackers are squashed all over the floor in a trail again and the puppy found yet another roll of toilet paper to shred while I was busy with something else. And, my 10 month-old son is now an active explorer who has a personality that craves interaction, which means I am often following him around and hunched over like some creature from a Disney movie. Balancing housework, two children, and three animals is a juggling act to put it mildly.

No matter how much cleaning, laundry, and vacuuming I try to accomplish, my husband is often left to wonder if we got robbed while he was at work. Not only do I look frazzled and wild with distress by late afternoon, but our home looks completely ransacked despite my best efforts. My husband, being the great guy he is, will often offer to do the grocery shopping with the kids so I can get whatever needs to be done in peace (hands off, ladies, okay? I don’t want to have to get ugly). 

Sometimes, though it is getting rarer all the time, I am actually able to have dinner prepared and ready in a timely manner so we can sit around the table for a proper meal like a family.

When we leave the house for any reason, a circus act ensues to be sure everyone has been fed, changed, cleaned up, and packed to load up into the van. Usually, I get so busy making sure the animals are in their place and taken care of, the children are clean, and I have the bags that I forget I, too, need to be ‘pottied’, watered, fed, and cleaned up. It isn’t until I have left the house that I realize my bladder is screaming, my stomach is growling, my breath is kicking, and there is a stench wafting in the van to let me know that someone just muddied up their clean diaper. If my son is giggling happily in his car-seat with his feet in the air, it usually means it was him.

I don’t know where those put-together moms come from, but I have to fight the temptation to give them the stink-eye when I am out and about with the kids. I am sure they fight the temptation to look at me and snicker as I limp along in a bow-legged dance to lug both children and the bags while desperately trying to blow hair out of my face so I can see where I am going.

Most of the time I really don’t have anyone to talk to during the week and I get tempted to start swinging from the chandelier and sing, “They are coming to take me away, ha-ha!”  You know, just to shake things up a bit.

So, not only do I NOT get to lounge around and binge-watch junk television, I am also lonely and desperate for a meaningful conversation with someone who doesn’t speak in jargon and childish riddles. This means I can often follow my husband around the house and cling to him when he is home. Or, I laugh wickedly as I leave him with the kids so I can escape to go workout. Other times, I accost strangers or cashiers with smiles and small talk out of desperation to relate to an adult human being.

Staying at home with young children is very trying, exhausting, and lonely business. I, personally, do not find it to be leisurely or glamorous. I do, however, treasure these days in spite of every inconvenience, frustration, mess, and headache because I know they will pass soon enough.

We are involved with an early education program through the school district, which has been a life-saver and I would recommend that every stay at home parent check with their school district about any such available programs. We have visits with an educator who is now like part of our family and there are playgroups or other activities to join.

I am also able to make time for other endeavors involving ministry, projects, and even writing and interacting in the ‘blogosphere’. My home office is half playroom, so I can get the kids busy with an activity while I make time to work on mine.

And, when I get to leave the house without any of these people, I wait until I turn the corner before I turn up the radio and start dancing like a lunatic behind the wheel. If you see some woman flying down the road in a minivan and she is break-dancing in the driver’s seat while singing, “I’m free!!!!!” out the window…well, it just might be me.

Or, it is some other mom who has escaped the asylum temporarily.

Just smile and wave at her as she drives down the road and remember to pray for her sanity.

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82 thoughts on “One hot mess…”

  1. I am a working single mother of two girls. 6 and 8 months… I am a HOT MESS. I am sick right now and doing all I can to push myself. Our situation is the same, but I can relate to many of the frustrations. Blessings to all moms! 😊

    Liked by 7 people

    1. Now THAT is a real struggle. I give mad props to working, single moms. Believe me, I do not take my husband for granted in that respect, because I cannot even imagine how much more difficult it might be to balance a job and the kids on your own. I hope you feel better soon and God bless you for all the pushing through you do.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. FABULOUS!!!! I had three daughters in about 4 1/2 years, and LOVE your snippet of daily life. As one man (yes, a man) said many years ago when I was raising my girls, “you are doing THE MOST important job in the universe!” And, you know, if it were easy, anybody could do it, right? Mine are now all in their 30’s and two are just starting families of their own. God bless you richly (although, obviously, He is already doing that!)

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I enjoyed reading your post, I understand fully how you feel, even though my five children are in their fifties, but times never change, just stick with it, they will be left home before you know it.
    Then you will be wondering what to do with all that spare time, Enjoy. Have a nice weekend.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I laughed out loud on this one! It brought back such memories. Stay at home mom and wife is a real job and can be a much harder job mentally and physically that working out of your home. You never get a coffee break to yourself , a noon lunch to yourself and usually not even a potty break to yourself. My boys are 32, 30 and 26….Two are married and I have 2 grandkids.
    Hang in there! Sanity will return (or at least some semblance of it). Enjoy the ride. It is the best one ever.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh, the potty breaks around here are comical. One day, I will be able to use the bathroom again without the audience of the puppy, cat, and a preschooler. Soon, my son will be joining the audience. I just know I will miss it when I finally get to go by myself! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  5. This brought tears to my eyes from laughter. Don’t for a second take for granted the joy that living a sitcom is. I remember a few months back I wrote a post about those pintrest moms, and now I barely manage to stop the tremors long enough to change a diaper. Your a blessed woman and i’m blessed to have you as a friend and role model. Fantastic piece my dear friend.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Yes staying at home is tough! The other day I was talking to a fellow retired Air Force mommy like me. Our topic, remember how easy it was to get all our Airman to follow directions…how come this stay at home mom stuff is tough?! Really I have interacted with more stay at home moms as I joined a play group for my three year old–most the time I’m thinking, “How is she getting her kids to follow directions?” I’ve always known staying at home was tough, working in some ways was easier for me. That’s why I teach part-time. I could not hack the full time stay at home mom gig. I’m not strong enough!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. This made me giggle at the thought of how hard it is to wrangle small children compared to getting military persons disciplined! It is like a military secret ops mission to figure out how to get them to listen and obey (the babies, not the airmen)! 😀 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Aaww lol I throughly enjoyed reading about your stay at home mum daily hot mess post.
    It’s wonderful to see women like you are still out there taking care of your children and not compromising their share of motherhood to a carer.
    Please do keep your posts coming, funny and thoroughly enjoyable to read. Aaww children you can’t live with them but you can’t live without them. 👍🏼

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Respect and much love
    You still are a word nerd
    The way you penned it down is so beautiful
    That you are doing it all but there’s joy or no pain in it
    I guess all the ladies blessing me with a kid soon were not impressed by the mess I have become post marriage so they wanted a level up
    Lol
    I loved your article though I am not a mom so your writing is amazing
    Watch bad moms movie when you get time
    Have a great day ahead!!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This is to inform you that I have shifted my blog to shiningtheory.com and you could have received a subscription mail which is not a scam.
    Please follow me again, and I regret the inconvenience caused to you.
    From My Theory.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. The “put-together Mom” is a facade, really. Same as the Dads who appear that way. What you see is the public persona, the person being at their best. There are other Moms who look at you and wonder where your super powers come from, I am sure. If you were to follow any of these wonder-parents around, you will find them, at some point, carrying one of their little snot factories by his ankles out of JC Penney, muttering threats, mixed with unspeakable vocabulary.
    Grace. It is all we have.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, we are society that craves the facade. Whether it is adornments and a fake outer layer of white teeth, salon hair, nails, the latest fashion to the facade we put up in front of our inner lives. The energy it must take to maintain a facade! Nah, I think I would rather have wild hair in need of brush from time to time and just be! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I remember the days when my kids were little. My boys are 18 months apart and we went through stomach flu which they had together and chicken pox together. Sometimes I felt that being a stay at home mom was the world’s worst job. And on top of the kids and the dog we had a farm so there were other critters to take care of and crops to deal with, too.
    A hot mess accurately describes some of the days when my kids were young. But now they’re grown and I miss having them around all the time.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, that sounds like a whirlwind!! I try to maintain my patience, because I know I will miss them being little. So, I try to shrug it off and just take it all in to store in my heart. There are days, though, where my attitude can get the better of me and I go to bed resolving to start all over the next day.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Ohhhhhh boy, do I ever relate to a lot of this!!!! Yes- staying at home is not easy, it is a FULL time job with NO lunch breaks, no bathroom breaks, etc. but it is the best profession there is. Happy To be in the trenches with you, beautiful momma!!! 😍😍😍

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Oh, I so much recognised this! This is exactly me a few years ago 🙂 Now my boys are 12 and 8 … and YES, things do get easier. Not always, and the madness reshapes it self into new challenges, but there are actually these moments where they are both playing together and I can enjoy a cup of tea and the newspaper – until they start screaming at each other, the older one throws his brother out of his room and little one shouts at the top of his voice “I will never ever play with you again!” 😉 But it does get easier. Just think of that when you are in the middle of the hot mess. 🙂 And I wish you a lot of of patience and energy!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Sorry that I only offer “jargon and childish riddles” in your attempts to connect with the adults in your life… us kids love you to death! 😉
    Ps. You got the ‘hot’ part right. You’re not a mess, especially when you think you are.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Stay-at-home moms are unsung heroes who dare to take the stance to proactively shape their children lives, not that working moms do not. All moms caring for children should be commended. Rather in the home or working, both work overtime with little compensation.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Bonjour ou bonsoir
    Par des mots simples

    Je viens déposer sur ton blog

    Quelques mots de bonheur et te donner de le joie en cette fin de semaine
    Vois-tu je t’ emmène sur des chemins

    Je les ai tracé pour toi principalement

    Sur ces chemins j’ai découvert
    Une pétale de rose pour effacer ta peine
    Un sourire d’enfant contre une larme
    Des mots que je dis à ceux que j’apprécie
    Dont tu fais réellement

    je te souhaite un bonne journée ou soirée

    gros bisous

    Bernard

    Je tire ma révérence LOL tu me troubles que j’en perds mon équilibre

    Liked by 1 person

  17. And yet it sounds absolutely delicious!! The memories, the joys, the laughter, treasure it all. I know it’s exhausting, frustrating, and trying at times but smile your way through and one day you will look back and wish for it all over again! You writing is so fun to read, wonderful!! Now go take a nap!! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  18. No doubt rearing up children will consume your life…day and night! But it is a blessing in the eyes of God to do this job, and do it well! There is no way this is a job of leisure, and your time is not your own. I love the way you describe the “work day!”…Lol…

    Steve

    Liked by 1 person

  19. I worked full time as did my hubby. We raised three children so I know where you’re coming from, or should I say going through. Each child is going to be different even though you raise them the same. Being parents is the hardest job in the world but when they are all grown, graduated from university, married and raising families of their own, that’s when you will get your reward. Grand children, pure joy!!!! It’s worth all the effort. Hang in there. You make the rules and the children have to follow them, as long as they know you love them at all times it will all work out fine. Bless you and your family. ♥

    Liked by 1 person

  20. BONJOUR
    Je t’emmène du bonheur
    il est à côté de toi
    Surtout ne bouge pas
    Tiens ! il s’est glissé dans ton sourire
    Oh ! Le voilà dans ta belle demeure
    Pour embellir ta journée de joie et que ta soirée te soit de tout repos
    Pour toi je me dis que c’est la meilleure raison
    Alors partageons ensemble ce bonheur avec tous ceux que l’on aime et que l’on apprécie
    Regarde il brille soit comme le soleil au lever du jour ou une étoile dans la nuit
    Que Ce Bonheur restent l’histoire d’un beau jour
    Je te souhaite
    Une très belle journée ou une belle soirée

    Bisous Bernard Ton Ami

    Bisous

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Bonjour

    Viens je t’emmène dans un monde de rêves

    Viens avec moi au pays de l’amitié

    Ou seul ce petit monde est loi

    Un monde de paix

    Il se cache au fond de ton cœur

    Dans un monde de merveilles

    Qui brille la nuit à l’orée du ciel

    Tu y trouveras des perles rares

    Celle ou nous avons été ami ou amie pour la première fois

    Quelle belle histoire entre nous

    C’est ainsi que le verbe aimer existe

    Je t’écris ces quelques mots avec tendresse

    Je te les offre du fond du cœur

    Je te souhaite soit une belle soirée soit une belle journée

    Bisous Bernard

    Like

  22. I could relate so much to your post. I think ever since I had the baby I have been a Hot Mess! Initially, few days my situation used to put me in tears. Now, I have learned to manage. From a full time Investment Banker to stay at home Mum, it’s been quite a journey 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  23. I always love reading such candid mommy posts as I am about to enter this stage of life myself in just a few years. (Maybe sooner, but we will see!). Thank you for this honesty and insight into the real REAL lives of a momma of young kiddos. ❤ So many kudos to you for ALL that you do. I hope you have a blessed mother's day!

    Like

  24. I once heard a speaker say that mothers are so miserable they don’t know how happy they are. You excellent post made me smile. I suppose most of the psalms and proverbs could be used to cheer up the stay at home mom with young kids. I bow and take my hat off to you…most honorable lady!

    Like

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