Climbing out of the rut…

Sometime this past spring, I found myself experiencing a rut that lasted for quite some time. My son had started to walk, climb, and run so I was being a spotter day in and day out for a very energetic and curious toddler. My daughter turned four, so her world view and interests began to expand. She required a different form of direction than my son and I felt worn out trying to meet her needs while simultaneously keeping my son out of harm’s way as he explored. Everything became the same daily routine and life was suddenly sunrise, sunset as the days passed quickly.

In between the rising and setting suns a lot of division began happening in this country. Social media and news headlines became a landmine of negativity and division. It seemed as if the terrain in our country changed drastically over night. People started casting lots in quite an uproar over a great many things. Many things may have been in need of a bit of an uproar, but the division is terribly palpable. There are a lot of injustices occurring across the globe and we are experiencing a time of great uncertainty the world over.

My spiritual walk was beginning to have too many exceptions until my feet were firmly planted on the Rock EXCEPT when…

  • I was tired and cranky
  • I was discouraged
  • My feelings were hurt
  • My attitude was slipping into the red zone
  • I was feeling burnt out
  • I was offended
  • I disagreed with something
  • My anxiety was turned up to 11
  • An old wound needed some tending
  • I was experiencing fear or uncertainty
  • I was responding to an injustice
  • I was uncomfortable with my circumstances or surroundings

I am sure I could keep going with that list, but I must digress.

I needed to turn the volume down on several things for my own peace of mind. I pulled away from media in many forms and spent some time getting myself recalibrated mentally and spiritually.

It is incredibly hard to get out of a rut when you’ve allowed way too many exceptions to keep you there.

I began to put into practice reciting Luke 23:24 anytime I came across something that contributed to all of those the things mentioned in the bulleted list above (and all of those things that weren’t mentioned!).

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

That verse constantly reminds me of what my main priority actually is: for my feet to remain firmly planted on the Rock EVEN WHEN…

  • I am tired and cranky
  • I am discouraged
  • My feelings are hurt
  • My attitude is slipping into the red zone
  • I’m feeling burnt out
  • I’m offended
  • I disagree with something
  • My anxiety is turned up to 11
  • An old wound is in need of some tending
  • I’m experiencing fear or uncertainty
  • I’m responding to an injustice
  • I’m uncomfortable with my circumstances or surroundings

I have been learning to let go without hesitation, forgive swiftly, and quickly fix my eyes on Him in all circumstances and situations.

For some mysterious reason, Luke 23:24 has been a huge part of recalibrating my head and my heart, making the air a lot clearer in general.

I’ve been trying to find ways to teach my preschooler how to cope with all of the changes she has been experiencing in her own life.  We made a big move, her learning is advancing, her emotions are more passionate, and she is increasingly interacting with the world around her. All of those things are a lot for an adult on a daily basis, so teaching a four year old child how to deal has been challenging.

A coping mechanism I’ve been working on with my daughter to thwart a meltdown is to “blow out the uglies”, as I like to call it. We take a deep breath and blow it out like a raspberry as many times as it takes to relieve the pressure and calm down. Sometimes we even count to twenty and blow out more raspberries.

The other day both of my children were restless and frustrated and I was stretched thin with all of the new adjustments we’ve been going through.  We moved to new town in a new state, my husband started a new job, and we have had new doors opening all around. My children started to meltdown and I wanted to meltdown with them. Instead, I sat on the floor and pulled my daughter into my lap while my son insisted on lamenting in a toddler squat across the room and on the verge of knocking  his head into the floor. I began “blowing out the uglies” with such an exaggerated display both children became silent and stared in awe. Pretty soon all three of us were blowing out crazy, exaggerated raspberries and both children began laughing hysterically in the process.

After blowing out her “uglies” and laughing a good bit, my daughter jumped up to exclaim, “I feel happy now!” My son clapped with squealing laughter as if to say, “I second that!”

So, that’s where I’ve been all summer: blowing out all of the uglies and getting my feet firmly planted on the Rock without anymore of those exceptions.

43 thoughts on “Climbing out of the rut…”

  1. I have definitely missed you here. Your technique for co-regulating yours and your childrens’ agitation and bringing it to a calmer state is inspired. Essentially you have found a kid friendly deep breathing method which really does help stabilize us in PTSD and toddler situations. I found that each new stage in my childrens’ lives demanded new healing in mine. Love and peace of Christ to you this morning.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’ve missed you, too, along with many others. I started doing breathing techniques specifically related to PTSD and then I decided to make a silly version to try on the kids when I just couldn’t find a way to soothe meltdowns. It worked such wonders and kept me calm and cool, too! My 1 yo has been trying to show daddy how he can blow it all out and he cracks himself up. Hugs and lots of blessings to you.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Lovely post. Glad you took the time to re-calibrate your life. Love the idea of blowing out the uglies. May need to try that with the day care kids I work with….just not doing raspberries. I think that might be frowned upon in a church setting. LOL

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I do more of a crazy horse’s neigh and sigh, but I call it raspberries. I guess it is like an alternative raspberry! That way we can avoid all of the spittle involved with a full-blown raspberry! 😂 The kids love this method because it is noisy and silly, but sometimes it takes counting and trying again before the laughter starts in. Nothing chases away the uglies like a good belly laugh. So happy to see you again. I will be catching up in the days to come.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Yes, the spittle would NOT be good in a day care setting. Noisy and silly sounds like a good way to de-stress though. Glad to see you back. I haven’t been posted like I had hoped – life seems to get in the way. I have a couple in my head, but no time. Eventually.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Good to see you back. I thought you were out there writing and publishing your books. Similar to your technique of blowing out, I taught my grandchildren to “Switch off” ~ not a physical activity, but one that challenges the mind and thought of what they have learned from God’s Word ~ changing our thoughts to what is good and fruitful. Praying for you and your family to continue to be blessed.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love the picture you painted on the walls of my mind. You, sat on the floor with your daughter by you and your son in arms reach …. and you began to blow out the uglies. Seriously so. Enough so that the children actually ‘got it’ and saw that they too needed to allow you to do what you needed to do, and join you in your journey.

    A joyous moment which you told us about and I was there…. a fly on the wall…. watching the joy happen.

    Totally fabulous.

    I think I’m going to adopt this method of getting rid of those moments in which we become an alternative to what we really actually are.

    I hope you continue to improve and rise above. May you settle well in your new place, and may your house eventually become a home for you.
    Have a truly blessed weekend ~ Cobs. 🌷

    Liked by 1 person

  5. So glad to see you back! I have been missing you and just the other day was scouting around wordpress to see if I could find you back…and here you are!
    You are definitely in a busy phase of life. Take a few minutes each day to enjoy the small things because when your kids are little those days pass much too quickly.
    I love the blowing out the uglies! When our sons were little and getting upset and “twitchy” we would have them run out to the mailbox (we live on a farm). They always came back in a better mood and I had just a couple minutes to decompress!
    May you all adjust to your new location and all the changes that brings!


  6. Stopped by to visit. I like to read uplifting posts, Life is too short for all the rubbish and carryings on in the media, social media, I am thankful for calm and rational readings on wordpress blogs much better than other stuff online!

    Liked by 3 people

  7. That verse is so good, especially when you remember the people He was asking forgiveness for put Him on the cross where He was hanging at the time He said it. Our “uglies” come nowhere close. I’m glad you’ve made it through all the changes.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This is great. We all need to turn down the volume and recalibrate every now and then.

    Also, I really like blowing out the uglies. My youngest is 11 so the kids are a tad old but it seems like a good way to calm a child. Wish I would have thought of that years ago.

    God bless,



  9. God bless you, JD, sister! I am grateful for your like as it reminded me to come visit you, and I can relate to everything you wrote here, literally, as you know our children are close in age. You are always such a light. I needed that verse tonight and always as I am perpetually inadequate in my own eyes, much less in the eyes of God. Thank you, and I hope you have been well. I go off FB every November (and Lent) but I agree with what an earlier commenter wrote about WP being more positive, even edifying, when we can’t physically be with our brothers and sisters in Christ. Looking forward to more of your words and light.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Love it! Your transparency with your children is paying off in the immediate and will have lasting effects for generations. Great job Mom! You are basically teaching them spiritual warfare 1) identify the ugly is present 2) cast it out 3) praise God.
    When they are older they can add scripture and apply the Blood as they progress. Excellent. Going to be casting out some uglies around here to. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. It’s been a long time since I last heard from you. I am so glad to be here and read through your adventurous journey with your children. I have missed you and taking out time to rest is needful. Step with care and great tact, and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Compliments of the season.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. You made me slime with the idea of blowing raspberries to get rid of the uglies
    Although I have done something similar myself when I’m feeling downcast
    I take a deep breath in and exhale with a gunfire explosive sound at least three times
    I admire your honesty in admitting how you struggle, but still, want to share with us all
    Uplifting you in prayer for the patience and encouragement when you need them


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